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Mastering financial independence — much like any other challenge someone is taking on for the first time — doesn’t happen all at once. Instead, it’s a “work in progress,” according to a report from the Pew Research Center which found that just 45% of young adults (age 18-34) say they’re completely financially independent from their parents. Those who aren’t financially independent frequently have costs for things like household expenses, cell phones, and streaming services covered by the ever-trustworthy “bank of mom and dad.”

The good news is that of those young adults surveyed who aren’t financially independent, 75% say they’ll eventually get there. In other words, even though they may be leaning on their parental units for now, they’re confident it’s just a matter of time before they spread their wings and fly. Parents are similarly optimistic, with 72% saying they think their child can, eventually, achieve financial independence.

And that optimism is great — but if you’re a parent in the throes of continuing to support your adult child financially (at the same time you’re trying to pursue your own goals, like saving for retirement), you might be wondering: How do we give them a little nudge? It’s an important question to ask sooner rather than later.  Another recent piece of research found that more than half of parents say they’re sacrificing their financial security to help their adult kids.  Here are four of the best ways to cut the financial cord and help the young adults in your life find financial independence.

Understand the cyclical nature of what you’re doing

If you’re helping your children with their finances to the detriment of your own (like giving them so much money that you’re forced to put your retirement savings on hold), it’s more likely that your children may need to step in and help you down the road, perhaps with costs for long-term care. This may be likely to happen at the point when your offspring are trying to launch their own kids, which could be an insurmountable burden. So, ask yourself: Am I better off pushing my kids to be more financially independent now so that I can be more financially independent later?

Offer help with information — not with cash

Sometimes what your children need most is advice about how to make their financial lives function better. Thankfully, there are steps you can take to guide your child without opening your wallet that will help them get closer to financial independence. For example, you can help them make a budget, track their expenses, or figure out how to sign up for the new student loan repayment program so they can maximize their monthly outlay. The book “How to Money” offers an excellent guide for young people just launching their financial lives, and those looking to dive a little deeper, may want to consider enrolling in a session of the  FinanceFixx financial makeover course specifically for Gen Z and Millennials. During the 8-week course, participants gain the kind of money know-how that can put them on a path to lifelong financial independence.

Start gradually

Today, more young adults from the ages of 18-24 live with their parents than in the past, according to the Pew Research Center. However, 72% of young adults who still live at home with their parents say they contribute financially to the household in some way. Some help by covering the cost of groceries, taking on utility bills, or contributing to the rent or mortgage. If you have adult children under your roof who aren’t kicking in their fair share, it’s time to sit down with them and go over your household budget. Identify ways that are realistic for them to contribute — not just to reduce your own expenses, but also to get them used to being responsible for a monthly household expense.

Set some limits

Whether your child is living with you, or whether you’re giving them a particular sum each month or paying certain bills, it’s time you establish a roadmap for exactly how long this support will continue, and in what way you’d like to phase it out. Be above board with your kids about your own needs and plans, so that they can develop their own strategies and best practices for financial independence. It may seem like tough love at first, but with you to guide them along the way, there’s nothing your little (big!) ones can’t accomplish.

from our partnership with Filene/HerMoney